Successful Relationships; Getting What You Want From Others
By Ed Rigsbee, CSP
(429 words)
Getting what
you want from others is important in all successful relationships. My
suggestion is that you deliver value first. I call this Making Relationship
Bank Deposits.
Relationship Bank Deposits
You'll find, is one of the important elements
of building and developing successful relationships. Interestingly enough, too
many folks want to make relationship bank withdrawals before they make
deposits. I realize that this is of course, not you, however it is something
important to watch in nurturing long-term relationships. Following the age-old
idea of giving first and receiving later (I know, instant gratification is
today's standard for so many), allows you to bank some relationship points for
a relationship rainy day. This idea is crucial because you know that there
will be conflict some time down the road.
Living In a Glass House
I have found it to be true in my relationship with my wife of 35 years,
Regina, that when I give first (living in a glass house, I admit my
imperfection here) she responds quite well. It is human nature to be
appreciative when another does something--providing that the something is
considered to be valuable by the receiver of the value.
Guy Talk
Talking to the guys briefly; women are wired to nurture. As such they tend not
to ask for what they need as much as they perhaps should--not as much as guys
generally do. So your assignment is to preempt the situation by doing things
for them they would not normally expect of you--thereby making an unrestricted
Relationship Bank Deposit. Unrestricted simply means, no strings attached--you
did something nice without immediately expecting something in return.
Gal Talk
Ladies, your job is to not read anything into these acts of kindness;
but to just accept and enjoy--difficult as it is. For women this is not always
easy as women are quite used to the male/female quid pro quo of...dinner for
bedding. Ladies, in order to break this cycle, please do not hint...just tell
'em what you want.
Value In Your Life
For everyone...here is where this idea creates value for your life. Just do
nice things for others and it will come back to you--somewhere or time when
you least expect it. And do lots of nice things for the person with whom you
enjoy a romantic relationship. Just do this and I guarantee your relationship
will be even better than it is now. And if your relationship is a bit on the
rocks, allow some time for the Relationship Bank Deposits to work. I
wish you wonderful loving...
Copyright (c) 2010 Ed Rigsbee
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Ed Rigsbee, CSP, for over two
decades, as the speaker on relationships has been helping business individuals and organizations of
all sizes to grow their market through smart alliance
relationships--while at the same time helping individuals to develop
what he calls Relationship Glue for their personal lives. He
is also the author of PartnerShift-How to Profit from the
Partnering Trend and The Art of Partnering. Rigsbee has
over 1,500 hard-copy published articles to his credit and is a
regular keynote presenter at corporate and trade association
conferences teaching North America how to access their Collaborative
Advantage through the steps he shares in his writing and
lectures. You can access all Ed's Web Sites and Blogs through www.rigsbee.com
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