In
Long-Term Relationships Be Lovers, and Friends Too
By Ed Rigsbee, CSP
(457 words)
My wife, Regina, and I recently returned from
Boston (we live in the Los Angeles area) where we celebrated our 35th wedding
anniversary and spent several days playing tourist. For our 30th, I surprised
her with a trip to Honolulu, of which she had no knowledge until I told her
the day before we left. This time I asked her where she wanted to go and she
selected Boston. Her choice surprised me, however she had never been to
Boston, and I offered her the choice.
Now that our sons are grown, we tend to do most
of our traveling around my speaking engagements (mostly warm weather
locations) but this trip was different. We had no agenda, no worrying about
clients-just enjoying the role of being tourists; did the JFK Museum, Freedom
Trail (two days), Cambridge, and Salem (feel free to check out the photos at
my Facebook page).
Even though Boston was her choice, we both really did have a wonderful time
with one another, walking our feet to the bone in Boston and its environs,
enjoying the pastries on the North Side, and hitting a number of pubs.
Grow Even in the Rocky Times
While we have had our rocky times, which are truly unavoidable, we still like
each other and enjoy each other's company; this my friends is an important
secret in successful relationships. Long-term relationships must be about give
and take, about helping the other to grow, and about recognizing that the
other will never be perfect-God knows-I've written before about my own control
freak tendencies. However there is no excuse for any person to hold onto an
unwillingness to experience personal growth.
Building the Long-Term Relationship
Ultimately, in building a fulfilling long-term relationship, each participant
has to be willing to receive, give, and help the other to improve-I didn't say
shove personal improvement down their throat. Rather, each has to be there for
the other, especially in your partner's time of weakness or vulnerability to
extend a helping hand. It is rare that both will grow at the same pace, so the
more growth partner must understand and accept their role until the
tide has turned-and it will. Every day will not be blissfully wonderful.
However, every day will be another piece of the relationship foundation.
Put forth the effort, even on the crummy
relationship days. Keep your goal in mind...hopefully that is growing old
together. When you focus on the Total Value of your long-term
relationship over what might be happening today, you will have a winning
formula. And I must ask you this all important question:
In addition to being lovers, are you also
friends?
If you are friends, that will help you to
overcome numerous challenges together. Happy Loving...
Copyright (c) 2010 Ed Rigsbee
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Ed Rigsbee, CSP, for over two
decades, as the speaker on relationships has been helping business individuals and organizations of
all sizes to grow their market through smart alliance
relationships--while at the same time helping individuals to develop
what he calls Relationship Glue for their personal lives. He
is also the author of PartnerShift-How to Profit from the
Partnering Trend and The Art of Partnering. Rigsbee has
over 1,500 hard-copy published articles to his credit and is a
regular keynote presenter at corporate and trade association
conferences teaching North America how to access their Collaborative
Advantage through the steps he shares in his writing and
lectures. You can access all Ed's Web Sites and Blogs through http://www.edrigsbee.com.
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