Accept
the Compliment & Grow Your Relationship
By Ed Rigsbee, CSP
(635 words)
Has this ever happened to you? A friend offers
you a compliment on your clothing and you say, This old thing? Rather
than accept the compliment, you devastate your friend's attempt to show you
that they care about you and discourage them from offering you future
compliments. Even if the outfit is in fact old, you could just as easily have
said, Thanks, it is quite old but one of my favorites. The result? You
would have allowed the other person to be able to feel good about what they
said. Any you would have felt good as well. When you think about this more
deeply, you are truly hurting your friend or family member when you refuse to
accept their compliment. Surely that is not your intent.
What's Wrong With Accepting a Compliment?
In my opinion, one should always graciously
accept a compliment form another. It is the right thing to do and it is simply
good etiquette, and gosh, why not? When you refuse to accept compliments, you
are really telling others they are WRONG and INSIGNIFICANT--bummer! Nobody
wants to feel wrong or insignificant, so why in the world would you want to
make them feel that way? People that (now don't get mad at me...) refuse to
accept compliments generally suffer from low self-esteem. Okay, so I said it
and now you can call me an arrogant son of a... The important idea here is
this: if you allow yourself to play in that pitiful place of low self-esteem
that is somewhere in us all, how great of a business or romantic partner will
you be? I don't think soooo. Who wants a lousy partner? Not me!
Take the Compliment and Smile
Show the person, that matters to you--or anyone
else for that matter, that you are worthy of a serious (business, platonic or
romantic) relationship by gladly accepting their compliments--and not trying
to read needless chatter or misdiagnose their compliments. Accepting
compliments will also help you as a person to grow emotionally. I'm not trying
to suggest you are an emotional midget, however the reality is that just about
everyone has some room for emotional growth. I know that I have room. For
many, accepting compliments is not easy--I'll give you that. However, it is
time to leave your place of comfort and grow emotionally. Stretch yourself by
accepting all complements with a smile and a simple, Thank you. Do this and
everyone around you will be happier. Saying thank you really does feel good,
it you'll allow yourself the pleasure.
Let Your Personal Strength Shine
By being willing to easily accept compliments
from others, you will also reveal your personal strength. Trust me on this
one, personal strength is attractive and alluring--except perhaps to idiots,
and who wants to be in a relationship with an idiot? When someone offers you a
compliment, and you exhibit "personal strength" posture by standing
erect (not slouched), offer a genuine and heart felt smile, and with personal
power clearly state, Thank you, you are demonstrating to the world that
you are the kind of person with whom others would love to be around, and with.
Great relationships are build on a foundation
of mutual respect. Great relationships include a strong portion of give and
take. Great relationships, be they business or romantic, need to have a
mechanism for clear communication embedded into the DNA of the relationship.
Great communication is intrinsic for the foundation for any successful
relationship. Communication and respect are so important in the effort to
maintain an awesome relationship. You must respect yourself before others can
even consider it. Try graciously accepting every compliment offered to you.
This action will help you to be the person that others love to love. Wishing
you the very best...
Copyright (c) 2010 Ed Rigsbee
# # #
Ed Rigsbee, CSP, for over two
decades, as the speaker on relationships has been helping business individuals and organizations of
all sizes to grow their market through smart alliance
relationships--while at the same time helping individuals to develop
what he calls Relationship Glue for their personal lives. He
is also the author of PartnerShift-How to Profit from the
Partnering Trend and The Art of Partnering. Rigsbee has
over 1,500 hard-copy published articles to his credit and is a
regular keynote presenter at corporate and trade association
conferences teaching North America how to access their Collaborative
Advantage through the steps he shares in his writing and
lectures. You can access all Ed's Web Sites and Blogs through www.rigsbee.com.
|
