Stop
the Insanity--Build Outrageously Successful Relationships at Home and
Work
By Ed Rigsbee, CSP
(587 words)
Relationship conflict—I’ll take
much less, thank you. Isn’t that what most people generally say?
However, are your actions and words consistent? Wow, do I have your
attention now? Let’s face it; everyone wants a reasonable return on
their relationship investment (ROI). In order to receive any return,
investment is the first important secret. Just how much investment
have you made lately?
Relationship
Investments
Be honest now; have your relationship
investments just been the bare minimum to get the return that you
want? If so, you know that you are not leaving any room for error, and
we all error sometimes. By not leaving any margin for error, you can
be assured of conflict sooner, than later. What I’m suggesting is
that you re-evaluate your relationship investment strategy and embrace
the idea of frequent relationship bank deposits. Build up a
relationship contingency account for those times when you screw
up—because you know you are going to screw up sometime.
Lose
the Blinders and Focus on Others
When you only keep your focus on your
needs, you can be assured that everyone else notices, especially the
people that are important to you. So what’s a person with needs to
do? The simple answer is to give, give, and give again. The more
complex answer is for you to figure out what really matters to the
persons in your life, which you care about and try to help them get
what they need. Reciprocity is a wonderful and mysterious truth. When
you help others to get what they need and want, they will experience a
continual nagging feeling of loyalty, beholding, and allegiance toward
you. While you can assign any name you want to this dynamic, it is
nonetheless real. Lean into the idea and you’ll repeatedly be amazed
at how it benefits you.
It’s
Okay to be Healthily Selfish
Yes, I’ll admit it—this is my
personal Achilles heal in life. Recently, a friend for whom I have
enormous respect, Alan Weiss, told me, “Ed, you have to be
much more healthily selfish in regards to your professional life.”
He did not tell me to be more narcissistic, but rather not to forget
about making sure that I receive value for my knowledge, effort, and
results in helping others. I believe that there is a huge difference
between the two; most people are weary of the narcissistic person
while sub-consciously drawn to the healthily selfish person. When you
are self-absorbed, few desire to be around you. However, when you are
an active player in life, you become a magnet ROI.
Look
for Every
Opportunity
to Serve Others
This is where the convergence of the
above occurs. When you have a healthy mindset, great self-esteem and
confidence, and truly desire to make relationship investments; this is
the mental playground for developing outrageously successful
relationships. I have preached from the podium, for over two decades,
that partnerships, alliances, and relationships must be a two-way
conduit for value delivery. I have admonished audiences around the
world that they have both give value and receive value in order for
any kind of a relationship to continue in the long-term. I truly
believe that you have to give first. Why is this so? Because you were
the person smart enough to figure it out—that’s why. And this is
why I repeatedly state, “Look for every opportunity to serve
others.” Do more than just look; find those opportunities and act on
them. It is the correct action that delivers outrageously successful
relationships.
Copyright 2010 Ed
Rigsbee
# # #
Ed Rigsbee, CSP, for over two
decades, as the speaker on relationship ROI has been helping business individuals and organizations of
all sizes to grow their market through smart alliance
relationships--while at the same time helping individuals to develop
what he calls Relationship Glue for their personal lives. He
is also the author of PartnerShift-How to Profit from the
Partnering Trend and The Art of Partnering. Rigsbee has
over 1,500 hard-copy published articles to his credit and is a
regular keynote presenter at corporate and trade association
conferences teaching North America how to access their Collaborative
Advantage through the steps he shares in his writing and
lectures. You can access all Ed's Web Sites and Blogs through www.rigsbee.com.
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