In Relationships; Plans Change
— Stuff Happens — Get Over It
By Ed Rigsbee, CSP
(546 words)
This idea is important anytime.
However, with St. Patrick’s Day just around the corner, I thought it
prudent to share a story from just a couple years back. My wife,
Regina
, and I were planning to celebrate St. Patrick’s Day at an Irish
friend’s house—one that actually built an authentic Irish pub in
his home—go figure. Driving to the party,
Regina
offered to be the designated driver—allowing me the freedom to
really get into the mood. It sounded good so we agreed.
At the Party
About an hour into the party, I’m
sitting at the bar in my friend’s home pub enjoying some of his fine
Irish whiskey and gradually “getting into the mood.”
Regina
strolls over to the bar, quite happy, with her newly discovered green
jell-o shooters in hand. She proceeded to tell us how much she was
enjoying these newly found friends. At that moment, I realized that
our plans had changed. I looked at my buddy, he looked at me, and I
stated quietly to him, “I’m done drinking for the evening.” I
could have kept drinking, but why?
Wisdom with Age
In earlier times, I most likely would
have gotten very angry at
Regina
for not keeping her word about being the designated driver. After all,
it was agreed that I would be the one that got to drink that night.
Over the years, I’ve learned that stuff happens. To some degree I
have also learned to just get over it. What about you?
The Bigger Issue
While this is a timely St. Patrick’s
Day party example, the bigger issue is learning to accept that things
change, especially when you’ve been with someone for a long time.
There are many more important issues to discuss, debate, and even
argue about than whom is to be the designated driver. Once we arrived,
Regina
was having a wonderful time, so why in the world would I want to rob
her of the experience? I believe that in order to have a successful
relationship, flexibility is a cornerstone, never to be ignored.
Things Will Change
The longer you are in a relationship
the more you realize that what is dependable is that things are in a
constant flux. Truly, you can either fight it or go with it. So what
if your partner changes his or her mind—like you have never done the
same thing? Realize also, that I’m not talking about a relationship
killing passive-aggressive partner that agrees now to avoid conflict
and then disagrees later. That is a completely different issue. What I
am simply saying is that one needs to be flexible enough to absorb
situations where your partner, in the moment, honestly changes their
mind. This is not an uncommon dynamic. Unexpected elements, like
jell-o shooters, can change the make up of an event and how one
behaves. Unexpected events can also contribute to your partner
changing their mind on just about anything. You decide how you will
deal with the situation; go crazy, or go with the flow? The choice is
yours.
In order to help your relationship to
become and remain long-term, my suggestion is that you keep this idea
close to your heart and never forget: Plans Change — Stuff Happens
— Get Over It.
Copyright 2010 Ed
Rigsbee
# # #
Ed Rigsbee, CSP, for over two
decades, as the speaker on relationship ROI has been helping business individuals and organizations of
all sizes to grow their market through smart alliance
relationships--while at the same time helping individuals to develop
what he calls Relationship Glue for their personal lives. He
is also the author of PartnerShift-How to Profit from the
Partnering Trend and The Art of Partnering. Rigsbee has
over 1,500 hard-copy published articles to his credit and is a
regular keynote presenter at corporate and trade association
conferences teaching North America how to access their Collaborative
Advantage through the steps he shares in his writing and
lectures. You can access all Ed's Web Sites and Blogs through www.rigsbee.com.
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