Overcome
Relationship Road
Blocks
By Ed Rigsbee, CSP
(596 words)
Great personal and
romantic relationships are hard enough, without putting your head in
the sand in dealing with some of the basic road blocks to successful
relationships. If you are looking toward long-term relationship
success, keeping an eye open as to some of the basic road blocks is a
superior success strategy.
Hidden
Agendas
When another
intentionally sets a plan in motion to purposefully deceive you, it is
near impossible to detect—or is it? The key here is being open to
the typical relationship red flags that many ignore; internal and
external. Rather than justify your partner’s actions early on,
scrutinize them. Sure it is difficult to love and to scrutinize at the
same time, however it is entirely possible. Choose not to be blinded
or smitten, as these qualities are frequently a formula for disaster.
Go into relationships with an open mind and heart—and an automatic
protection mechanism—one that enables you to see reality as opposed
to fantasy.
Unrealistic
Expectations
Is there such thing
as a Prince Charming, Snow White, or Cinderella? It is rare that one
person embodies all things wonderful and none objectionable. Too many
men and women have waited a lifetime for that perfect mate and missed
out on a lifetime of nurturing and rewarding relationships. It is
realistic to expect that many of your needs will be met in a romantic
relationship, but unrealistic to expect that every single whim will be
received with, “Your wish is my command.”
Unfulfilled
Needs
With what I have
stated above, this is a difficult and sensitive issue. While every
romantic and relationship impulse may not be fulfilled by your partner
at the spontaneity you desire, it is nonetheless very important that
you stand up for, and return; respect, courtesy, and love in your
relationship. How that washes out is; you had better get really,
really, good at asking for what you want. You also must get really,
really, good in asking in a way that your partner responds positively.
Unfulfilled basic needs are what will eventually create a wondering
heart. If you love and respect your partner, then you will be
courteous in response to their needs, and vice versa.
Dreadful
Communication
Communication is the
foundation for either a successful relationship, or a failed one—it
just depends on how well you communicate. Code words, jargon, and
hidden meanings will not serve you, or your partner—unless of course
both totally understand the various meanings in all situations. Think
that’s possible? Words have meaning! Be clear on what you say, how
you say it, and in a way that your partner will completely understand
your intended meaning. Hinting is not communicating! Expecting the
other “to understand” is not communicating. Expecting your partner
to read your mind is also NOT communicating. Communicating is, eyeball
to eyeball, using simple and clearly understood language—expressing
what’s on your mind with understanding as your intent—not
cryptically stinging under your breath.
If your subliminal
intention in communication is to understand and be understood, you
will have a much better chance of success. Too frequently people try
to accomplish two things in their communication; get what they want
and manipulate others. Perhaps that’s fine in a hardball selling
situation but it is not fine in romantic relationships. Be the
communication, live the communication, and respect the communication
of others—this will go a long way in eliminating dreadful
communication.
I grant you that
overcoming relationship road blocks is not always easy, but grant me
this: it is always worth it, if the person is worth it.
Copyright 2010 Ed
Rigsbee
# # #
Ed Rigsbee, CSP, for over two
decades, as the speaker on relationship ROI has been helping business individuals and organizations of
all sizes to grow their market through smart alliance
relationships--while at the same time helping individuals to develop
what he calls Relationship Glue for their personal lives. He
is also the author of PartnerShift-How to Profit from the
Partnering Trend and The Art of Partnering. Rigsbee has
over 1,500 hard-copy published articles to his credit and is a
regular keynote presenter at corporate and trade association
conferences teaching North America how to access their Collaborative
Advantage through the steps he shares in his writing and
lectures. You can access all Ed's Web Sites and Blogs through www.rigsbee.com.
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